Trump's Stupidest Indictment

TL;DR

The DOJ indicted James Comey for posting a beach photo of shells spelling '8647,' a case so weak even Trump's own appointees initially refused to bring it.

Key Points

• 1.The indictment stems from a trivial Instagram post. On May 15, 2025, Comey posted shells spelling '8647' on a North Carolina beach, captioned 'cool shell formation'; he deleted it within hours and apologized, saying he didn't associate the number with violence.
• 2.Even Trump's own prosecutors thought the case was too weak to charge. US attorney Eric Sibert found no real case; replacement Lindseay Halligan also declined to charge the seashell post, calling it too dumb — before Cash Patel pushed it to a grand jury anyway.
• 3.The two-count indictment charges Comey under 18 USC §871A and §875C, each carrying up to 5 years in prison, requiring proof of a 'knowing or willful' written threat — a legal bar the DOJ's own three-page indictment barely attempts to address.
• 4.Supreme Court precedent makes a conviction nearly impossible. In 1969, the Court ruled Vietnam-era hyperbole ('I want LBJ in my sights') was not a true threat; in 2023's Counterman v. Colorado it required subjective reckless intent — standards Comey's deleted apology post almost certainly cannot meet.
• 5.Cash Patel publicly violated grand jury secrecy rules. At the press conference he disclosed grand jury materials — including Comey's deletion and apology — which are sealed under Federal Rule 6E, giving Comey's lawyers grounds for motions to unseal proceedings and compel discovery of White House communications.
• 6.The case is likely to collapse via pretrial motions, including dismissal for failure to state an offense, selective/vindictive prosecution under US v. Armstrong (given thousands of uncharged '86 the president' posts), and discovery into political interference — damaging DOJ credibility regardless of outcome.