JAY SHETTY I Princeton University Class Day Commencement I May 26th, 2025

TL;DR

Jay Shetty told Princeton's Class of 2025 that disappearing from public validation — building in private — is the only path to genuine fulfillment.

Key Points

• 1.Disappear to grow: Kobe Bryant practiced at 4am, Warren Buffett spent 80% of his day reading alone, Lady Gaga played dive bars for 6 people, and Sarah Blakeley kept Spanx secret for a year — world-class success is built in private, not broadcast.
• 2.The "looking glass self" trap: Charles Horton Cooley (1902) wrote "I am what I think you think I am" — we live inside a perception of a perception, which drives the compulsion to perform success before understanding what it means personally.
• 3.Lose, don't just gain: The Buddha meditated not for what he gained but for what he lost — anxiety, insecurity, and fear. Shetty urged graduates to be equally ambitious about losing envy, approval-seeking, and comparison.
• 4.Cure envy with study: When someone wins, don't scroll past — study how they built it. The Sanskrit word *mudita* means taking genuine joy in another's success; practicing it protects relationships and personal peace.
• 5.The four life decisions: (1) How you feel about yourself daily, (2) who you choose to love — Dr. David Mlelen says this influences up to 95% of life success or failure, (3) what you do for work across ~90,000 hours, (4) how you serve humanity.
• 6.Mental health urgency: 59 million U.S. adults (1 in 4) live with mental illness; only 47% receive treatment; the average delay between symptom onset and treatment is 11 years — Shetty cited this as his core motivating purpose.
• 7.Daily effort tracking: Shetty's practical exercise — write down one thing each day that required effort even if no one saw it, and do a 7-day "opinion fast" (no polling friends, no group-chat crowdsourcing) to rebuild internal direction.