Why Nobody is Having Sex Anymore (& why it matters) - Dr Debra Soh

TL;DR

A sex recession has hit all developed nations, with 1-in-3 young men sexless, driven by porn, hypergamy, birth control, endocrine disruptors, and social media.

Key Points

• 1.The sex recession is real and multi-dataset confirmed. One in three men and one in five women have not had sex in the past 12 months, consistent across multiple independent data sources.
• 2.Sexual decline is total, not redistributed. Even masturbation rates among adolescents have dropped, meaning the overall 'pie' of sexual activity has shrunk, not merely shifted to solo outlets.
• 3.The recession began in the 1990s and accelerated sharply. COVID worsened it, but the trend predates it; 24% of 26-year-olds had no sex in the past year, roughly double the 2010 rate.
• 4.Gen Z is the worst-affected cohort. 37% of Gen Z had no sex in the last month vs. 19% of millennials, and 67% of Gen Z would prioritize sleep over sex.
• 5.Porn activates the same brain network as real sex, making it a functional substitute that reduces motivation to pursue real partners, especially post-#MeToo when approach anxiety is high.
• 6.Dr. Soh's 'male sedation hypothesis' explains missing antisocial behavior. Historically, masses of sexless young men caused revolutions; today screens, video games, and porn sedate that status-seeking drive.
• 7.The '3 Sixes Rule' reflects unrealistic hypergamy online. Women are said to filter for men who are 6 feet tall, earn six figures, and have a 6-inch penis—a combination that statistically eliminates almost all men.
• 8.A 6-inch erect penis is the 97th percentile, yet most women say they want 6 inches, most men think women want 7 inches, and most men underestimate their own size, creating a perception gap.
• 9.The 'Tall Girl Problem' (Chris's term) explains a structural mating crisis. Rising female education and earnings shrinks the pool of hypergamously acceptable men, leaving high-performing women without suitable partners.
• 10.Men in relationships where they're not breadwinners are 50% more likely to use erectile dysfunction medication, and a man losing his job doubles divorce likelihood, while a woman losing hers has no effect.
• 11.Hormonal birth control, used by ~11% of US women of childbearing age, blunts female sexual signaling. Men can detect ovulation by scent, appearance, and gait; suppressing it removes a key attraction trigger for both sexes.
• 12.Women who go off the pill after years of use sometimes lose attraction to their partner, with the shift in hormonal profile revealing whether their mate choice was optimized for provisioning (on pill) vs. protection (off pill).
• 13.Male testosterone has declined significantly over 40 years, with researchers ruling out age, diet, and lifestyle factors, pointing to environmental endocrine disruptors in food and water supply as a likely cause.
• 14.Pharmaceutical waste feminized and masculinized fish, with Japanese fish exposed to diazepam becoming too lethargic to court or breed—a potential analogue for human reproductive and behavioral decline.
• 15.DEI policies and educational disadvantage are reducing male socioeconomic competitiveness. Dr. Soh argues rolling back these policies would organically narrow the hypergamy gap and improve coupling outcomes.